Stressful lessons for parents - Parents being taught by teachers to teach their children at home

I am the stressed-out parent of an 11-year-old daughter. After reading Parental Guidance (LifeStyle, Sept 25), I find it hard to believe that after a hard day's work, parents are expected to coach their children at home.

Similarly, after a day in school, why are children expected to be taught by their parents at home?

What is the role of a parent at home and the role of a teacher in school?

My idea of family bonding is to play with my children or discuss topics not related to their school subjects. It is time we consider spending some time to impart moral values and social etiquette to our children at home and in school.

While it is good that parents pick up some knowledge on how to teach the correct techniques to our children, will our children then take it for granted that mum and dad can coach them at home?

Will they think that they need not concentrate and understand their classes while in school?

We have to be careful how we balance our lives in Singapore. If we are so caught up with academic excellence, we may lose focus of our roles in society.

Margaret Goh

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It is disquieting to see parents being taught by teachers in a primary school classroom so that they can go home to teach their children. It is irrelevant whether one uses algebra, modelling or heuristics to solve the problem. The key question is why the child has not learnt to use these in school.

In order to face this problem, there has to be a radical change in the delivery of public education. Such a change would include quantum increases in funding, reduction in student-teacher ratio to 1:20 and freeing teachers of non-teaching duties, including co-curricular activities.

We have to move away from an infatuation with the regurgitation of facts, and focus on meeting each child at his or her level. This has to start at the very beginning of compulsory education to ensure no child is left behind.

It is unacceptable to assume that basics such as the alphabet would be known to all children entering school.

Teachers must be given the tools, resources and, most of all, time to fulfil their professional obligations. Students must be given the time and space to assimilate knowledge.

I fear that without change, we will continue to produce generations of workers for the world and fail to perceive the invisible ceiling that comes with such an education system.

The truly exceptional ones will still succeed, but we will have wasted a large proportion of our most precious resource - our people.

Dr Yeo Poh Shuan Daniel

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I refer to the article Parental Guidance.

I was one such parent years ago, when my children were in primary school and I took Chinese lessons to try and help them.

As a result, my relationship with them was like a power struggle. I had no life of my own. My life centred on my three children and it was neither effective nor healthy.

When I realised it was not working, I started to invest in myself and took self-development courses and seminars.

Instead of fixing my children, I started to let go and focus on building my relationship with them. They are now 16, 20 and 22.

What I did was to teach myself to love them unconditionally. To communicate with them instead of telling them what to do.

I inspire them to take responsibility, be positive, adapt and be resilient.

If parents are stressed and children are not receptive to their teaching, their relationships would be affected.

Still, coaching your children can be good for bonding - if you do not focus on academic results.

Dolly Yeo