My Point
Published on Oct 1, 2011
NS graduation
'I was impressed until my son told me he had to pay $2.50 for my attendance, as did his peers for their families at $2.50 per head.'
MS NG BENG CHOO: 'My son's passing out ceremony at the Paya Lebar Airbase on Monday was well-organised with video presentations, which gave parents glimpses of their sons' national service experience. I was impressed until my son told me he had to pay $2.50 for my attendance, as did his NS peers for their parents, at $2.50 per head. Parents sacrificed by offering two years of their sons' lives to serve the nation and yet the Ministry of Defence is unable to allocate a tiny sum for the light refreshments. Is our support for our sons' national service not worth more than $2.50?'
Friday, September 30, 2011
Abercrombie & Fitch's Ad
This isn't indecent ... But this is
WHAT is the fuss over American fashion retailer Abercrombie & Fitch's giant advertisement, which the regulatory watchdog, the Advertising Standards Authority of Singapore (ASAS), saw fit to define as indecent ('Abercrombie & Fitch ad 'indecent' but will stay for now'; Thursday)?
Would ASAS care to assess a truly obscene poster advertising a local firm specialising in beauty and waxing? The vulgar visual of the poster advertising Strip: Ministry of Waxing is plastered in malls and on lamp posts, and as street buntings. One cannot fail to see it at The Cathay building and on lamp posts around Great World City, to name two of the places.
Anand A. Vathiyar
WHAT is the fuss over American fashion retailer Abercrombie & Fitch's giant advertisement, which the regulatory watchdog, the Advertising Standards Authority of Singapore (ASAS), saw fit to define as indecent ('Abercrombie & Fitch ad 'indecent' but will stay for now'; Thursday)?
Would ASAS care to assess a truly obscene poster advertising a local firm specialising in beauty and waxing? The vulgar visual of the poster advertising Strip: Ministry of Waxing is plastered in malls and on lamp posts, and as street buntings. One cannot fail to see it at The Cathay building and on lamp posts around Great World City, to name two of the places.
Anand A. Vathiyar
Teachers and Coaches must rein in their passions
Coach's passion admirable, but he took it too far
By Rohit Brijnath
I COME here not to bury Radojko Avramovic nor to praise him. He is a decent man but guilty of the indecent football act.
We can't vilify coaches who abuse referees across the planet and then excuse it when it is from our own. We must laud a man who stands hunched over at the touchline as if swollen with passion, but can't excuse him when he is unable to contain it.
There is a line in football, there must be. And literally, and figuratively, he crossed it.
The referee that day in China was lousy. This is not in question. He gave a penalty he shouldn't have and didn't give a penalty he should have. But this is also football. Unfairness - depending on the colour of your shirt - is at the heart of this sport. Every day an offside, a dive, a shirt pulled turns it into an opera. Which, of course, draws us in.
Fans will holler, tear their hair and it is fine. This is their entertainment. Coaches will have apoplectic fits, gesticulate wildly and this is fine, too. But to a point. Because the field is their office. They are part of the play, they are governed by rules. They have to be, else chaos rules.
Singapore football is humble, its talent pool limited, many of its rivals better-funded. It is a sport searching for oxygen. It is disadvantaged enough. To add an errant referee to the mix is almost perversely cruel. Avramovic might have wanted to eat the referee's heart for dinner. Uncooked.
This is understandable.
He might have felt a symbolic act as coach was required, as if his rage was a demonstration to his wounded players that he felt for them, he was one of them, he was there for them.
This is also understandable.
But equally understandable is the notion that all action has consequence. Ironically, it is precisely what Avramovic must be teaching his players. Keep your cool. Don't react. Harness emotion. Don't get sent off. Especially in the heat of the moment, especially when it matters. You have to wonder, has he gently undermined his own lessons?
Avramovic has said he wanted to protect his players. This we like. The coach as champion of his team. White knight and all. The issue is the avenue of protest. Then, wildly, on the pitch or later behind closed doors? The point is the cost of protest. This we may not like so much.
In effect, by protecting his team, he has now left them defenceless. Now they will not have him on the bench. Now his players will miss his direction and have said so themselves. We can argue four matches is too harsh, but still it might have been two, or three. What would have been worth it?
Sport is absurdly illogical, which is how we like it. So we might ask: Will the ban in fact bind his team more tightly? Will it, inadvertently, drive his players to prove themselves for him. Will they repay his uncontrolled rage by playing with a controlled one? We shall see.
Let us be fair to Radojko Avramovic. Let us say this is an aberration from a coach who has never been sent off for Singapore before. Let us be honest and say we kind of like his fervour. Let us also be clear. He was wrong.
rohitb@sph.com.sg
By Rohit Brijnath
I COME here not to bury Radojko Avramovic nor to praise him. He is a decent man but guilty of the indecent football act.
We can't vilify coaches who abuse referees across the planet and then excuse it when it is from our own. We must laud a man who stands hunched over at the touchline as if swollen with passion, but can't excuse him when he is unable to contain it.
There is a line in football, there must be. And literally, and figuratively, he crossed it.
The referee that day in China was lousy. This is not in question. He gave a penalty he shouldn't have and didn't give a penalty he should have. But this is also football. Unfairness - depending on the colour of your shirt - is at the heart of this sport. Every day an offside, a dive, a shirt pulled turns it into an opera. Which, of course, draws us in.
Fans will holler, tear their hair and it is fine. This is their entertainment. Coaches will have apoplectic fits, gesticulate wildly and this is fine, too. But to a point. Because the field is their office. They are part of the play, they are governed by rules. They have to be, else chaos rules.
Singapore football is humble, its talent pool limited, many of its rivals better-funded. It is a sport searching for oxygen. It is disadvantaged enough. To add an errant referee to the mix is almost perversely cruel. Avramovic might have wanted to eat the referee's heart for dinner. Uncooked.
This is understandable.
He might have felt a symbolic act as coach was required, as if his rage was a demonstration to his wounded players that he felt for them, he was one of them, he was there for them.
This is also understandable.
But equally understandable is the notion that all action has consequence. Ironically, it is precisely what Avramovic must be teaching his players. Keep your cool. Don't react. Harness emotion. Don't get sent off. Especially in the heat of the moment, especially when it matters. You have to wonder, has he gently undermined his own lessons?
Avramovic has said he wanted to protect his players. This we like. The coach as champion of his team. White knight and all. The issue is the avenue of protest. Then, wildly, on the pitch or later behind closed doors? The point is the cost of protest. This we may not like so much.
In effect, by protecting his team, he has now left them defenceless. Now they will not have him on the bench. Now his players will miss his direction and have said so themselves. We can argue four matches is too harsh, but still it might have been two, or three. What would have been worth it?
Sport is absurdly illogical, which is how we like it. So we might ask: Will the ban in fact bind his team more tightly? Will it, inadvertently, drive his players to prove themselves for him. Will they repay his uncontrolled rage by playing with a controlled one? We shall see.
Let us be fair to Radojko Avramovic. Let us say this is an aberration from a coach who has never been sent off for Singapore before. Let us be honest and say we kind of like his fervour. Let us also be clear. He was wrong.
rohitb@sph.com.sg
Stressful lessons for parents - Parents being taught by teachers to teach their children at home
I am the stressed-out parent of an 11-year-old daughter. After reading Parental Guidance (LifeStyle, Sept 25), I find it hard to believe that after a hard day's work, parents are expected to coach their children at home.
Similarly, after a day in school, why are children expected to be taught by their parents at home?
What is the role of a parent at home and the role of a teacher in school?
My idea of family bonding is to play with my children or discuss topics not related to their school subjects. It is time we consider spending some time to impart moral values and social etiquette to our children at home and in school.
While it is good that parents pick up some knowledge on how to teach the correct techniques to our children, will our children then take it for granted that mum and dad can coach them at home?
Will they think that they need not concentrate and understand their classes while in school?
We have to be careful how we balance our lives in Singapore. If we are so caught up with academic excellence, we may lose focus of our roles in society.
Margaret Goh
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It is disquieting to see parents being taught by teachers in a primary school classroom so that they can go home to teach their children. It is irrelevant whether one uses algebra, modelling or heuristics to solve the problem. The key question is why the child has not learnt to use these in school.
In order to face this problem, there has to be a radical change in the delivery of public education. Such a change would include quantum increases in funding, reduction in student-teacher ratio to 1:20 and freeing teachers of non-teaching duties, including co-curricular activities.
We have to move away from an infatuation with the regurgitation of facts, and focus on meeting each child at his or her level. This has to start at the very beginning of compulsory education to ensure no child is left behind.
It is unacceptable to assume that basics such as the alphabet would be known to all children entering school.
Teachers must be given the tools, resources and, most of all, time to fulfil their professional obligations. Students must be given the time and space to assimilate knowledge.
I fear that without change, we will continue to produce generations of workers for the world and fail to perceive the invisible ceiling that comes with such an education system.
The truly exceptional ones will still succeed, but we will have wasted a large proportion of our most precious resource - our people.
Dr Yeo Poh Shuan Daniel
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I refer to the article Parental Guidance.
I was one such parent years ago, when my children were in primary school and I took Chinese lessons to try and help them.
As a result, my relationship with them was like a power struggle. I had no life of my own. My life centred on my three children and it was neither effective nor healthy.
When I realised it was not working, I started to invest in myself and took self-development courses and seminars.
Instead of fixing my children, I started to let go and focus on building my relationship with them. They are now 16, 20 and 22.
What I did was to teach myself to love them unconditionally. To communicate with them instead of telling them what to do.
I inspire them to take responsibility, be positive, adapt and be resilient.
If parents are stressed and children are not receptive to their teaching, their relationships would be affected.
Still, coaching your children can be good for bonding - if you do not focus on academic results.
Dolly Yeo
Similarly, after a day in school, why are children expected to be taught by their parents at home?
What is the role of a parent at home and the role of a teacher in school?
My idea of family bonding is to play with my children or discuss topics not related to their school subjects. It is time we consider spending some time to impart moral values and social etiquette to our children at home and in school.
While it is good that parents pick up some knowledge on how to teach the correct techniques to our children, will our children then take it for granted that mum and dad can coach them at home?
Will they think that they need not concentrate and understand their classes while in school?
We have to be careful how we balance our lives in Singapore. If we are so caught up with academic excellence, we may lose focus of our roles in society.
Margaret Goh
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It is disquieting to see parents being taught by teachers in a primary school classroom so that they can go home to teach their children. It is irrelevant whether one uses algebra, modelling or heuristics to solve the problem. The key question is why the child has not learnt to use these in school.
In order to face this problem, there has to be a radical change in the delivery of public education. Such a change would include quantum increases in funding, reduction in student-teacher ratio to 1:20 and freeing teachers of non-teaching duties, including co-curricular activities.
We have to move away from an infatuation with the regurgitation of facts, and focus on meeting each child at his or her level. This has to start at the very beginning of compulsory education to ensure no child is left behind.
It is unacceptable to assume that basics such as the alphabet would be known to all children entering school.
Teachers must be given the tools, resources and, most of all, time to fulfil their professional obligations. Students must be given the time and space to assimilate knowledge.
I fear that without change, we will continue to produce generations of workers for the world and fail to perceive the invisible ceiling that comes with such an education system.
The truly exceptional ones will still succeed, but we will have wasted a large proportion of our most precious resource - our people.
Dr Yeo Poh Shuan Daniel
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I refer to the article Parental Guidance.
I was one such parent years ago, when my children were in primary school and I took Chinese lessons to try and help them.
As a result, my relationship with them was like a power struggle. I had no life of my own. My life centred on my three children and it was neither effective nor healthy.
When I realised it was not working, I started to invest in myself and took self-development courses and seminars.
Instead of fixing my children, I started to let go and focus on building my relationship with them. They are now 16, 20 and 22.
What I did was to teach myself to love them unconditionally. To communicate with them instead of telling them what to do.
I inspire them to take responsibility, be positive, adapt and be resilient.
If parents are stressed and children are not receptive to their teaching, their relationships would be affected.
Still, coaching your children can be good for bonding - if you do not focus on academic results.
Dolly Yeo
Indian Nationals' view on being punctual
A time to be tardy
Indians find it easy to settle down here - until they find their concept of time differs from Singaporeans'
By paddy rangappa
When we arrived in Singapore 11 years ago, the plane landed so softly we hardly felt it, and that describes our emotional landing, too.
My wife and I were delighted to find how easy it is for Indians to live here.
In many ways, it was as if we had not left India. Tamil signs welcomed us at the airport; we visited temples that might have been transported straight from India (with Sanskrit-chanting priests who definitely are); shops were stocked with Indian basmati rice and pickles; and walking in Little India was like walking on an Indian street - except that it appeared to have been recently scrubbed and three-quarters of the vehicles seemed to be missing (and the rest replaced with sleeker models).
We settled easily into living in this country and everything was hunkydory... until we encountered the Singaporean's strange sense of time.
For Indians, time is a loose, arbitrary concept, worn casually like a bathrobe at the poolside on a Sunday.
When an Indian says he will do something 'definitely by tomorrow', he means he will get to it in the next few days, God willing. Likewise if he says he observed the full moon 'just yesterday', he means he saw it some time during the last week (and perhaps it was not really, completely full).
And on both occasions, to make matters worse, he will use the same word 'kal', a roomy Hindi term that accommodates both tomorrow and yesterday in its meaning.
In India, it is normal to be invited for dinner at 'around 7.30pm' but actually landing up anywhere close to that time would be considered a severe breach of manners. The hosts would still be cooking dinner or visiting a supermarket for ice or relaxing at the park with the kids. It is customary for the first guest to arrive after 9pm and the last closer to 11.
Soon after we came here, a Singaporean colleague invited us home for dinner. 'Come at 7pm,' he said, 'We've invited two other couples.'
'We should reach his place at about 8.30pm,' I told my wife on the day of the dinner. 'So we should leave home at 8. That means,' I added, to ensure she understood the gravity of this statement, 'you need to be ready by 7.55.'
'Absolutely,' she said and promptly came out dressed: at 8.45pm.
It was 9.15pm when we parked the car at my colleague's apartment complex. As we reached his door, it opened and we met the other guests. They were leaving after their dinner.
Much embarrassment ensued. I apologised for our tardiness; my wife apologised after me in her inimitable way ('I told Paddy we should go earlier but he didn't listen'); my colleague apologised for not taking my telephone number and therefore not calling me (to ask what the devil I was up to); his wife apologised for serving the dinner without us; the four guests individually apologised for eating it and leaving so early.
After going around at the rate of one apology a person, an uncomfortable silence descended on the group, and everyone seemed to be looking at me. So I apologised again and we went around one more time.
We might have done it a third time but my colleague's wife broke the deadlock. 'Why don't you come in and eat? You must be hungry and there's lots of food.'
My wife and I entered their apartment reluctantly, but not as reluctantly as the other guests. Too polite to leave, they sat in the living room looking at us stonily while the good hosts laid the table and took food out of the refrigerator. I could sense their thoughts: A lovely night ruined, thanks to this idiot.
When the food was ready, we all sat down at the dining table and, under the spotlight glare of six adults, my wife and I ate.
I could have entertained everyone with a couple of funny anecdotes about life in India that I had in my repertoire but I felt the mood was not right.
One of the guests was constantly drumming the table - 'eat fast, eat fast, eat fast', her fingers seemed to say - and another kept looking at his watch. So my wife and I ate silently... and at a frantic clip.
Soon we were ready to leave, as were the other table-drumming, watch-watching guests. After we had said bye and thrown a few more apologies at everyone, I turned to my wife.
'Whew!' I said, 'Next time, we go 10 minutes earlier than the time he calls us.'
But for some odd reason, my colleague hasn't called us again. I wonder if I should give him my cell telephone number once more.
stlife@sph.com.sg
Paddy Rangappa is a marketing professional who has been living in Singapore for 11 years and writes in his spare time. Read more on his blog http://theflip-side.blogspot.com
Copyright © 2011 Singapore Press Holdings. All rights reserved.
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Rick Warren message - About not living the high life but the spirit-led life
This is Moving & Uplifting , wish other religious leaders are like this pastor, their followers will be less desperate chasing wealth.
Several religious leaders of our day have negatively influenced their followers to think that God's blessing consist only in an abundance of possession.
You will enjoy the new insights that Rick Warren has, with his wife now having cancer and him having 'wealth' from the book sales. This is an absolutely incredible short interview with Rick Warren, 'Purpose Driven Life ' author and pastor of Saddleback Church in California . In the interview by Paul Bradshaw with Rick Warren, Rick said: People ask me, What is the purpose of life? And I respond:
In a nutshell, life is preparation for eternity. We were not made to last forever, and God wants us to be with Him in Heaven.
One day my heart is going to stop, and that will be the end of my body-- but not the end of me. I may live 60 to 100 years on earth, but I am going to spend trillions of years in eternity. This is the warm-up act - the dress rehearsal. God wants us to practice on earth what we will do forever in eternity.. We were made by God and for God, and until you figure that out, life isn't going to make sense.
Life is a series of problems: Either you are in one now, you're just coming out of one, or you're getting ready to go into another one. The reason for this is that God is more interested in your character than your comfort; God is more interested in making your life holy than He is in making your life happy.
We can be reasonably happy here on earth, but that's not the goal of life. The goal is to grow in character, in Christ likeness. This past year has been the greatest year of my life but also the toughest, with my wife, Kay, getting cancer.
I used to think that life was hills and valleys - you go through a dark time, then you go to the mountaintop, back and forth. I don't believe that anymore. Rather than life being hills and valleys, I believe that it's kind of like two rails on a railroad track, and at all times you have something good and something bad in your life.. No matter how good things are in your life, there is always something bad that needs to be worked on.
And no matter how bad things are in your life, there is always something good you can thank God for.
You can focus on your purposes, or you can focus on your problems:
If you focus on your problems, you're going into self-centeredness, which is my problem, my issues, my pain.' But one of the easiest ways to get rid of pain is to get your focus off yourself and onto God and others.
We discovered quickly that in spite of the prayers of hundreds of thousands of people, God was not going to heal Kay or make it easy for her- It has been very difficult for her, and yet God has strengthened her character, given her a ministry of helping other people, given her a testimony, drawn her closer to Him and to people.
You have to learn to deal with both the good and the bad of life. Actually, sometimes learning to deal with the good is harder. For instance, this past year, all of a sudden, when the book sold 15 million copies, it made me instantly very wealthy. It also brought a lot of notoriety that I had never had to deal with before. I don't think God gives you money or notoriety for your own ego or for you to live a life of ease.
So I began to ask God what He wanted me to do with this money, notoriety and influence. He gave me two different passages that helped me decide what to do, II Corinthians 9 and Psalm 72.
First, in spite of all the money coming in, we would not change our lifestyle one bit.. We made no major purchases. Second, about midway through last year, I stopped taking a salary from the church.. Third, we set up foundations to fund an initiative we call The Peace Plan to plant churches, equip leaders, assist the poor, care for the sick, and educate the next generation.
Fourth, I added up all that the church had paid me in the 24 years since I started the church, and I gave it all back. It was liberating to be able to serve God for free.
We need to ask ourselves: Am I going to live for possessions? Popularity?
Am I going to be driven by pressures? Guilt? Bitterness? Materialism? Or am I going to be driven by God's purposes (for my life)? When I get up in the morning, I sit on the side of my bed and say, God, if I don't get anything else done today, I want to know You more and love You better. God didn't put me on earth just to fulfill a to-do list. He's more interested in what I am than what I do.
That's why we're called human beings, not human doings. Happy moments, PRAISE GOD. Difficult moments, SEEK GOD. Quiet moments, WORSHIP GOD. Painful moments, TRUST GOD. Every moment, THANK GOD..
God's Blessings HE ARRIVED THIS MORNING, WE HAD PRAYER; SPENT SOME TIME JUST TALKING, AND HE HELD ME FOR AWHILE BECAUSE I WAS HAVING A BAD MORNING.. THEN, HE WAS ON HIS WAY TO YOUR PLACE.
May God bless you , AMEN"I can be changed by what happens to me, but I refuse to be reduced by It" - Dr. Maya Angelou
Several religious leaders of our day have negatively influenced their followers to think that God's blessing consist only in an abundance of possession.
You will enjoy the new insights that Rick Warren has, with his wife now having cancer and him having 'wealth' from the book sales. This is an absolutely incredible short interview with Rick Warren, 'Purpose Driven Life ' author and pastor of Saddleback Church in California . In the interview by Paul Bradshaw with Rick Warren, Rick said: People ask me, What is the purpose of life? And I respond:
In a nutshell, life is preparation for eternity. We were not made to last forever, and God wants us to be with Him in Heaven.
One day my heart is going to stop, and that will be the end of my body-- but not the end of me. I may live 60 to 100 years on earth, but I am going to spend trillions of years in eternity. This is the warm-up act - the dress rehearsal. God wants us to practice on earth what we will do forever in eternity.. We were made by God and for God, and until you figure that out, life isn't going to make sense.
Life is a series of problems: Either you are in one now, you're just coming out of one, or you're getting ready to go into another one. The reason for this is that God is more interested in your character than your comfort; God is more interested in making your life holy than He is in making your life happy.
We can be reasonably happy here on earth, but that's not the goal of life. The goal is to grow in character, in Christ likeness. This past year has been the greatest year of my life but also the toughest, with my wife, Kay, getting cancer.
I used to think that life was hills and valleys - you go through a dark time, then you go to the mountaintop, back and forth. I don't believe that anymore. Rather than life being hills and valleys, I believe that it's kind of like two rails on a railroad track, and at all times you have something good and something bad in your life.. No matter how good things are in your life, there is always something bad that needs to be worked on.
And no matter how bad things are in your life, there is always something good you can thank God for.
You can focus on your purposes, or you can focus on your problems:
If you focus on your problems, you're going into self-centeredness, which is my problem, my issues, my pain.' But one of the easiest ways to get rid of pain is to get your focus off yourself and onto God and others.
We discovered quickly that in spite of the prayers of hundreds of thousands of people, God was not going to heal Kay or make it easy for her- It has been very difficult for her, and yet God has strengthened her character, given her a ministry of helping other people, given her a testimony, drawn her closer to Him and to people.
You have to learn to deal with both the good and the bad of life. Actually, sometimes learning to deal with the good is harder. For instance, this past year, all of a sudden, when the book sold 15 million copies, it made me instantly very wealthy. It also brought a lot of notoriety that I had never had to deal with before. I don't think God gives you money or notoriety for your own ego or for you to live a life of ease.
So I began to ask God what He wanted me to do with this money, notoriety and influence. He gave me two different passages that helped me decide what to do, II Corinthians 9 and Psalm 72.
First, in spite of all the money coming in, we would not change our lifestyle one bit.. We made no major purchases. Second, about midway through last year, I stopped taking a salary from the church.. Third, we set up foundations to fund an initiative we call The Peace Plan to plant churches, equip leaders, assist the poor, care for the sick, and educate the next generation.
Fourth, I added up all that the church had paid me in the 24 years since I started the church, and I gave it all back. It was liberating to be able to serve God for free.
We need to ask ourselves: Am I going to live for possessions? Popularity?
Am I going to be driven by pressures? Guilt? Bitterness? Materialism? Or am I going to be driven by God's purposes (for my life)? When I get up in the morning, I sit on the side of my bed and say, God, if I don't get anything else done today, I want to know You more and love You better. God didn't put me on earth just to fulfill a to-do list. He's more interested in what I am than what I do.
That's why we're called human beings, not human doings. Happy moments, PRAISE GOD. Difficult moments, SEEK GOD. Quiet moments, WORSHIP GOD. Painful moments, TRUST GOD. Every moment, THANK GOD..
God's Blessings HE ARRIVED THIS MORNING, WE HAD PRAYER; SPENT SOME TIME JUST TALKING, AND HE HELD ME FOR AWHILE BECAUSE I WAS HAVING A BAD MORNING.. THEN, HE WAS ON HIS WAY TO YOUR PLACE.
May God bless you , AMEN"I can be changed by what happens to me, but I refuse to be reduced by It" - Dr. Maya Angelou
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